taking up the guantlet

My daughter cried this morning because we were eating smoked salmon with our poached eggs. I mean literally shed tears.  "How could you eat that?!" she implored.  "I don't understand you are  intelligent people!"    "This is wild caught salmon from Alaska,"  I explained,  "and Alaska has some of the few salmon fisheries that have implemented sustainable fishing practices."    "You just want to believe that.  Fish populations are going extinct. If you eat fish at all you are encouraging a market for fish, which supports commercialized fishing. People need to be aware of the crisis,  stop eating fish and let the systems replenish."   Tearfully she continued, "When you eat the salmon from Alaska you are taking the salmon away from the bears, whose habitat is already hugely impacted with development. When the bears don't get enough salmon their poop is not full of the nutrients that the soil depends on, and it effects the whole ecosystem." She explained this all really fast so I may be missing some key points to the long chain of events, but you get the idea.   My children are quite adept at shedding light on my flaws and shortcomings....and although it can be hard to take, it is, in many ways, a blessing.  My husband responded to her  with "You are right, I am being a hypocrite"  I responded with a look... a look that she took to mean I was annoyed with her and thought I knew better.  She was wrong.  In fact, my mind was reeling with questions and admonitions.  Was it all that black and white?  Probably. Does it require strident action?  Definitely.   I do understand the dangerous plight of the oceans, so why the hesitancy in changing my habits?  Have I just been collecting the little bit of evidence to let me continue patterns which I hold so dear  (the amazing health benefits of eating fish is a biggie)  while I ignore the hard facts of what needs to be done?  Am I really just like all of the people I have judged as either too ignorant or too selfish and greedy to do the things that need to be done for our greater good?  How do I manage the horrible, negative, selfish, cynic lodged deep down in my mind which thinks "there is no way that enough people will do the right thing (ie: stop eating fish until the fisheries are replenished, or stop using fossil fuels, etc.) and we are screwed, so I should just enjoy the ride.  Uggh that is hard to admit.   I hear my husband saying  "You didn't grow up the way we did,  never thinking about what you ate or it's implications on your health or anything else"   "Yes I did, she said...I grew up with you two...eating meat"   Well, she did grow up eating meat, but there was always a conversation about the fact that is was organic, and free range. We had long discussions about the need to buy local organic produce. When we sailed in Central America we took note of the schools funded by Pepsi, covered from foundation to rooftop with the Pepsi logo and filled with children with rooting teeth. We talked about the reprecussions of the junk food industry.  Now she has taken up the gauntlet and is throwing it back at us.  Am I up to the challenge?  Old habits are bloody hard to change.


amazing photo found here

Feel It!

I want my days to feel like flamenco.

I want kissing to feel like the first bite of a ripe warm fig freshly plucked off the tree.
I'd want my next success to feel like Apple releasing the iphone.
I want my body to feel like Sylvie Guillem in a grand jete.
I want smiling to feel like sunshine.

I want my friendships to feel like Ted Talk dinner parties, skinny dipping, full moon dances to drums on the beach, sleepovers with face masks and hot chocolate.

I want my nervous system to feel like after massage bliss.
I want my gigs to feel like a dunk in the winter cold Pacific, adventurous, brave, and leaving me energized and tingling from head to toe.
I want my neighborhood to feel like making a surf flick with Jack Johnson.
I want my integrity to feel like the water in a mountain stream, crystal clear, full of life, carving stone

I want money-making to feel like drinking an organic veggie juice squeezed from veggies grown by my local farmer. Healthy, flowing, energizing, sustainable and good for everybody.
I want my word to feel impeccable.
I want laughter to feel like running down a long hill with friends.

I want the end of the day to feel like a long hot shower after days of camping.
I want being of service to feel like making a toddler laugh.

I want philanthropy to feel like winning the jackpot.
I want challenges to feel like detours that lead to new discoveries.
I want love to feel like wearing magic glasses that let you see the divine in everything and everyone.
I want my writing to feel like a great road trip.

I want ideas to feel like the waves at Pipeline.

"Sensuous Goal Refinement + Emotional Magnifying" by Danielle LaPorte.  Yes!   I can always count on some blazing hot inspiration from this brilliant bombshell. Her latest bit of sizzle is in the form of a weekly burning question.  

#1   How do you want it all to feel?    

 Here are her answers. 

photo found here